The Three Wishes of the Mystical Lamp
Chapter
1
“Have
you ever heard of magic? Well magic is something that most people don’t
believe in. They think it’s imaginary, well luckily I’m not one of
those people. I think magic is real! No, actually I know it’s real!
I’ve seen it with my very own eyes! They thought I was crazy; they even
put me into custody! But I didn’t give in. I kept strong
and…”
“OK Jeff, I think you had too much coffee and Chocolate Frosted
Sugar Bombs.”
“No,
don’t you remember that I’m on a diet? Now MAGIC IS REAL AND YOU
CAN’T STOP ME FROM BELIEVEING IN IT HA HA HA HA …. Hey what are you
guys doing? Go away! I said go No no nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
Sorry
for the delay of our story now we are right now contacting a new narrator now so
will you guys just hang tight and just wait for a few more minutes, thank you.
OK kids,
here is your new narrator, Smack down Sam.
“Alright
all of you plant it!” Smack down Sam hissed at the children.
“Now if any of you kids say something then I’ll pound
so much and so hard that it would look like a class of flapjacks! Got it?”
“OK.” said a small voice.
“Hay who said that?!” Yelled Smack down Sam
“Me.” Said the voice again
“Man once I find you, you are going to be in so much hurt
that you’ll wish you were never born!” roared Smack Down Sam
“really?” said the voice.
“yes really now get your butt over
here I’ll give you a double wuppin,”
retorted Smack Down Sam.
“Aha found ya!” said Smack
Down Sam triumphantly
(Fighting noises)We woh we woh we woh we woh
“He he he, I sure took care of
him.”
Chapter
2
One day
I, Ben Cermak was inspecting Anti Mr. Pittman’s class and I thought they
were the best class ever. Besides Mrs.Anderson’s
class, Mrs.Melton’s class, Mrs.Armstong’s
class and…15 hours later. And that 6th grade class in
“Hay
you get out of my desk! Hay put back my pencil! I said put back my pencil. You
got to the count of…1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Q to put back my pencil, 1, B, 6, Q!!!!
Ok times up you better make a death wish ‘cause you are about to be
dead!”
(fighting noises)
We woh we woh we woh
we woh
He he he… ok I admit they
might not be angels but there ok
“yeah right if you ask me there more like little devils.”
says a voice in the back.
Hay who
ever said that you better shut your trap!
Unfortunately
for the narrator the kid in the back was a 350 pound sumo wrestler.
Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
“Ok
what happened this time” Asked a man impatiently.
“Another
narrator was kicked out the window sir” said a woman who seemed to be the
man’s assistant.
“Ok go get another narrator and I will tell the kids the
first story for time being.” said the man and then he began.
Chapter
3
Later…”Alright
children, all of you get out your science, pre-algebra, and history books
NOW!!!” hissed Anti Mr.Pittman.
“But
Mr.Pittman…”said Carlos but was rudely cut off
“I
said get out your pre-algebra, science, and history!” hissed Anti
Mr.Pittman for a second time.
“Yes
Anti Mr.Pittman.” moaned the children.
While
Carlos was fishing around in his desk he felt something cold and metal like.
“That’s
strange.” thought Carlos.
“I
never keep metal things in my desk.”
But
curiosity got the best of him. So he pulled out be mystery object, and it
turned out to just to be a lamp.
Now
Carlos was really getting suspicious. Then his frown turned upside down, a evil, greedy frown that was upside down. Zach who sat
right across from Carlos saw his evil smile.
“Why
are you smiling like that.” Asked
Zach.
“None
of yo beeswax.” Carlos
shot back.
“OK
you don’t have to be so mean.”
Zach retorted back
You know
in the movies when you rub a genies lamp a genie will come out right well guess
what Carlos is going to do… he throws the lamp at Anti Mr.Pittman which
knock him in to a coma.
“No
recess until 2008.” And those were the last words of Anti Mr.Pittman.
“YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS”yelled
everyone in the class and ran out the door and all the way home. This happened
to every other class in the world and therewas no
school for a very, very long time.
Chapter 4
“Ok
kids here is your new narrator his name is Mr. Narrator now Mr. Narrator please
begin.” said the man.
I will
gladly, now the next story you listen to is about a prince and a princess (brother
and sister) and how miserable there lives were, now lets stop all the chit chat
and get to the real story lets begin.
One day
in The castle of ugly people prince Dodo and princess frofro
had just awoken from there 1,605,322nd horrible, back breaking, and
wet night sleep(its been raining a lot lately).
One day
princess frofro couldn’t take it anymore.
“I
can’t take it anymore.” hollered princess frofro.
“I
known you hate this place but it’s our home so we better make the best of
i…” Said prince dodo but was rudely
interrupted
“but I don’t wana!!!”
cried princess frofro
“OK
Ok, jeez. I agree with you and …aye.” Said prince dodo and slapped
his head. When prince dodo turned around there standing there was princess frofro smiling like crazy 2 inches from his face.
“YOU
FINNALY UNDERSTAND!!!” yelled princess frofro who
was literally was jumping for joy, the bad part about this is that she was
jumping for joy on prince dodo’s foot
“Your
welcome.” grumbled the prince painfully.
The next
day at breakfast…
“Would
you pass me the rolls, please mother?” said princess frofro.
“Huh
what yah say, I was picken my ear.” Said there
mother who was from somewhere in south west but she is probably one of about 5
other queens that were very, very pretty but at the same time vry stupid.
“Dad
will you please pass the eggs?” said prince dodo.
“what yah say I can’t here you from all the way from
over here.” Said the king who was sitting right next to
the prince.
“Dad
you are sitting right next to me” said the prince in a little annoyed
tone.
“WHAT
DID YA SAY I CAN’T HEAR YA” yelled the king at the top of his
lungs.
Then out
of no were the prince and princess were zapped to the most horrible, destroyed
and unnatural place on earth. It has the most idiotic president of all time.
Ladies and Gentlemen boys and girls I give you 2007 bu
bum bummmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Chapter 5
“Ugh,
were… am…
“It
looks rather weird, though.” Replied Princess Frofro
“Yeah
all this technology is over whelming.” Said the prince
in an excited tone.
But when
they got up there was a huge crowd starring at them
“Are
those the aliens’ mama.” Whispered a boy.
“Shhhh, Timmy you will make them get mad.” Said the
Mom
Then
there was silence.
“OH
PLEASE DON’T KILL ME! JUST TAKE HIM!”
pleaded a woman holding out a five year hold kid.
“What
are you doing.” Said prince
dodo.
“AHAAA
DON’T KILL ME JUST TAKE HIM,” she screamed and ran away. The boy
though went over to the prince and princess and said.
“Are
you really aliens?” asked the boy.
“What’s
that?” asked the prince.
The
three kids went through the crowd, everyone stepped out of the way but at the
very end of the pack the princess touched a middle aged woman. This was her
reaction…
“AHHHH
I’M MELTING I’M MEELLLTTTTING!”
Once she
fell to the ground everyone started running around screaming.
The
three of them looked around at the mob of people running around and just kept
walking. Later they walked all the way through the city to the more uh how do I
put this, ancient part of the city. Finally they came to some sanctuary, a run
down motel. When they came in they didn’t even look at the caretaker and
just went strait to there room.
When everyone was getting ready for bed the princess knocked over
a lamp. It didn’t break. John (the little boy) picked it up and rubbed.
He didn’t know why he rubbed it he just did. Then out came a genie who was asleep.
“Do you think I should wake him?” asked John.
“Maybe, if you want to but he might be a little cranky,”
said Prince Dodo.
First John pinched the genie, the genie pinched him back. Then John
spit on him, the genie spit on him too. Johns angry now, he got a pail of water
and poured it on him. The genie got up, still asleep, took the pail from John,
filled it with water and poured it on John.
John was furious at the sleeping genie so he cried all the way
home. Now the prince and princess are alone with the snoring creature.
“Helloooo, anyone in here, if you
wake up I will give some money,” said Prince Dodo.
His eyes shot open.
“Sorry don’t have any,” said the prince
“Dang, anyways what do you want?” yawned the genie
“Aren’t you a genie?” asked Princess Frofro.
“Why yes I am, so I’m guessing you want a wish?”
said the genie.
“Yes, I want a wish!” said the two of them together.
“But you have to make a wish together,” said the genie.
“Ok, we can do that.” said the two together.
30 seconds later…
“Well it’s a shame that the two that those two had to
break each others legs just for that wish, oh well more for the next
person,” said the genie.
“Uh excuse me sir but are you the two kid’s parent or
guardian?” asked a doctor.
“Um I guess so.” replied the genie
“Here’s the bill,” said the doctor and gave him
the bill.
”Thanks,” grunted the genie.
“Uh sir, why are you so green?” asked the doctor.
“Non of yo beez wax,”
replied the genie and vanished
Chapter 6
The next
chapter I’m going to read to you is about Anti-Mr.Pittman 10 years in the
future, but what about Anti-Mr.Pittman I don’t know but he did send me
this post card. Well that might give us a clue were he went. Any ways lets
start the story in three two one.
“Uh
I would like a hot dog please,” said Ben at the Hamburger stand.
“Sir
for the last time, we only sell hamburgers,” said the cashier angrily.
“OK
then I’ll have a Hot Dog, no ketchup please,” said Ben stupidly.
“Ok
then sir here’s your hot dog no ketchup!” yelled the cashier and
handed Ben a hamburger.
“Thanks,”
said Ben and walked away.
“Hay
man what took you so long?” said Carlos as Ben handed him his hamburger.
“The
cashier said that he couldn’t make a hot dog and look, a hot dog,”
Said Ben while taking a bite.
“Well,
I don’t know why he didn’t just make it right away because this is
the best hot dog I ever had!” said Carlos spitting piece of hamburger
into Ben’s face.
“Hay
look, dude dolphins lets go see if we can ride on them!”said Ben while getting his floaties
on.
Well as
you know, stupid people usually get hurt a lot, badly! So one by one the people
that didn’t go to school, got hurt really badly, even occasionally
killed. Now Anti-Mr.Pittman’s class is the only
people left in
“Hay
look everyone is back together!” said Ricky happily.
“Yeah
cool, hay look it’s Bob! Hay Bob,” said Atilio.
“My
name is Adrion, not Bob, idiot,” said Adrion in a
annoyed tone.
“Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, what do you guys
want to do?” asked Selena.
“I
don’t know what you want to do?” replied
Then out
of no were a lamp, preferably a genie’s lamp was flung toward the back of
Roberto’s head luckily he ducked.
“Sweet
a quarter, I call dibs!” said Roberto as he bent down to get the quarter
Unfortunately
Ben was right in front of Roberto and he got hit by the genie’s lamp
square between the eyes.
“Ouf!” grunted Ben, and fell
to the floor unconscious.
“Hay,
Ben! Hellooooooooooo?” said Brandon and
Muhammad together.
“I
think he’s dead,” shutter Kelsey.
“I
don’t think he’s dead, I think he’s in a coma with loads of
pain and agony orrrrrrrrrr he’s thinks
he’s in a lush us valley with fairy princesses and unicorn’s, but
who cares about that?” Said Zach.
Everyone
stared at him in shock.
“Huh?”
said
“Hay
look at the thing that’s on Ben!” said Anwar pointing at a thing so
indescribable that it would make any person throw up at the sight of it. Well I
might as well tell you. It was Ben snoring.
“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,
Hay what are you doing! Give back my pencil ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,
can I please have a cookie, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,” said Ben
in his sleep
“We have got get this on tape!” giggled Alondra.
“Hay everyone look at thing on
Ben’s chest!” exclaimed
Tajah.
“It
looks like the thing that Carlos threw at Anti-Mr.Pittman,” said Kenia.
“Yep
it sure does, wait back then I heard a voice that said…
do you know in the
movies when you rub a genie’s lamp a genie will come out. Well I think that if we rub it a genie will
come out and we can get 3 wishes.” said Eugina.
Everyone
rubbed the lamp until there hands were no more. Then out
popped a genie who was watching T.V.
“Let’s
see what else is onnnnnnn wohhhhh!” said the
genie as fell out of his chair in surprise.
“Hay that’s no genie,
that’s a magician!” exclaimed Lexus.
“Well
magician do a trick,” said Shelbi
“I
already told you I’m a genie not some dumb ol’
magician,” said the genie who was starting to
get irritated.
“Riiiiiiight, do a magic trick,” said Ahmed.
“What
are you kids, Deaf!? I’m a genie not some stupid guy who says presto and
bunnies pop into his hat!” said the Genie who’s looked more like a
tomato than a genie.
“Can’t
you just do one trick? Come on I mean you are a magician,” said
“FOR
THE LAST TIME, I’M A GENIE NOT SOME
BEAPEN MAGICIAN I’M A…” yelled but was cut of by
this sound…
“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
uuuuuh aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
uhuhuhuhuh
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”said
the children between breathes.
“Wow
I’m impressed, you said ah for 16 hours, congrats, so I will grant you
all one wish but I’ll choose who will make that wish with my mystical
choosing powers… eeny meeny
miney moe catch a genie by by the toe if he throes dollars let him go my pet rock said
to pick the very best one and you are it!
Chapter 7
Once
the Genie was done with his mystical choosing he was pointing to the one and
only Ahmed.
“Me?”
asked Ahmed.
“Yes
you now make a wish,” said the genie.
“Uh
mmmm uuuuuuuuuuu… I
wish… you were a magician!” said Ahmed triumphantly.
“Oh
crud,” said the Genie as he turned himself into a magician, but he still
has his genie powers, he just knows how to pull a rabbit out of a hat.
“OK
now for the next wisher,” said the Genie and started doing his mystical
choosing ritual.
When he was done he pointing at Lexus.
“OK I wish for ummm
a a a…
a wait well uh Ok just come back to me I need to think about this,” said
Lexus while scratching her head.
The
Genie then did the choosing ritual again.
But before he could choose some Ben woke up and said “Do a
trick!” said Ben in an excited tone.
“No
you idiot now sit down,” and thru a rock at his again and Ben got knocked
out again.
The Genie was now doing the very last
mystical choosing ritual, in the end he was pointing at… Adrion!
“All
right kid lets make this quick so that I can watch the rest of Bratz the movie,
Jessica is about to kiss Brad!” said the Genie anxiously.
Everyone
looked at him for a moment, then burst out laughing.
“I’m
not even going to ask how you like Bratzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
hollered Roberto while rolling on the floor laughing.
“Wow
that funny that was very funny,” said Wendy while wiping away a tear.
“Are
you ready to wish kid or not?” asked the Genie impatiently.
“Yeah
wait one sec, I need to think,” said Adrion who was still smiling.
“uhhhhh well since you are a magician…”
“I
AM NO BEAPEN MAGCIA…” yelled the Genie but was cut off again by
this sound…
“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…”
24
hours later…
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa uhuhuuh uhuhuuh
uhuuh uhuu huhh huhu huhuu,” huffed and puffed the children.
“Wow
now you broke the world record I’m impressed,” said the Genie
sarcastically while clapping.
They
all took bows.
“Ok
kid, get on with the wish,” said the Genie anxiously.
“Well
since you are a magician…”
“I’m
not a magician but go on,” said the Genie trying to control his anger.
“Anyways
I wish that you could make something disappear,” Said Adrion.
Once
Adrion said that the Genie said.
“Do
you mean anything?” asked the Genie.
“Anything
anywhere,” answered Adrion.
“K
then bibiy bibity boo, I wish you all could disappear too,” chanted the
Genie laughing maniacally.
“Hay
wait you are a magiciaaaan…” said the children then they all
disappeared!
“Uhhhhh ugh uh were am I,”
stuttered Ben while looking into a pitch black room.
“Am I dead?” thought Ben out
loud.
“Hay look everyone he’s
awake!” yelled someone in the distance.
Soon he was crowded around a whole bunch of
people.
“Excuse me but am I dead and this is
heaven or is this place were the Anti-Mr. Pittman
dwells?” said Ben with a shudder.
“Well ummmmm,” said one of the blurry figures but was
interrupted.
“Sir,” said Ben pointing at one
of the blurry figures.
“Are you god?” asked Ben in
the most cheesy and dramatic way he could say.
“No I’m Roberto and you are
right now in a black hole,” said Roberto dully.
“Oh in that case how much time do we
have until we get crushed,” said Ben.
“I’d say about 30 minutes,”
said Shelbi trying to keep a smile on her face.
“Ok then we will have to think of a
plan to get out,”
“How bout’ we get an unlimited
food supply and eat til’ we are so fat that we can’t get
crushed!” offered Anwar.
“That’s a good idea but were do
we get all that food,” asked Ricky.
“How bout’ we wish for an
unlimited food supply,” said Tajah.
“Ok then lets get down to
rubbin,” said Ben and they started rubbin’.
Chapter 8
“Rub, rub, rubbbb!” yelled Ben
as they rubbed the genie’s lamp.
“Ok everyone I think that’s
enough,” said Ben.
The lamp started to shake then the genie
came out on a sofa looking very anxious.
“Come on Jessica kiss Brad come on
com…” said the Genie ending since he didn’t see a T.V in the
room or in this case the black hole.
“I hate you kids,” said the
Genie dully.
“Thank you,” said the children
grinning.
“Ok what would you kids want?”
asked the genie.
“We want an unlimited food supply
please,” said the children still grinning.
“K
then here you go,” said the Genie with a twist of the wrist.
“and
I’ll be off,” said the Genie and then he was gone!
“Ok everyone let’s get down to
eating!” said Ben while stuffing himself with a Big Mac.
25 minutes later…
“Uhhhhh man I’m stuffed,”
said Brandon, who was lying on the ground being fat.
“Well I hope this works, we about 5
minutes away from the moment of truth,” said Atilio groaning.
5 minutes later…
“Help me!!!” and with that Anti
Mr. Pittman’s class was gone, and with it the genie’s lamp and
it’s three wishes. So Thanks to these freaken
idiots the most wonderful magic has disappeared.
“Yeah
but he did watch a watch Brats,” yelled a person in the back.
“well good
riddance to that, but anyways see ya uh I have to
watch the rest of uh a movie,” said the narrator.
“Is it Brats?” asked another
person.
“maybe,”
said the narrator sheepishly.
Then there was silence. Then that silence
was broken by everyone rolling on the floor laughing.
The End
The End
Thoughts of the writer…
I think that this can be a story for anyone
butt maybe there may be some dialogue that might not be appropriate for people
20 years and older. Thank you. And I think you stink. Again thank you. Oh yeah
you stink. Thank you very much. Wait I forgot something, you stink. Go away. I
think you should take a shower, in other words… you stink. Go home.
‘Cause I think you stink. I also think your girlfriend/boyfriend stinks.
