Making the Transition to Middle School

Making the move from elementary school to middle school can be an unsettling time for you and your child. You can ease the transition by tuning into the changes your child is experiencing and by getting to know the middle school your child will attend.

YOUNG ADOLESCENTS ARE CHANGING AT DIFFERENT RATES

Children go through major developmental changes between ages 10 and 14 : physical, emotional, intellectual, and social. Their bodies grow rapidly; puberty begins; self-awareness increases; and abstract thinking skills develop. Children begin to separate from parents and to identify with their peers.

But young adolescents are a diverse group: They grow at different rates and in different ways. They may look older than they are, since emotional maturity may not keep pace with physical development. Although interest in peers is high, some may be content with one good friend, while others may seek out a group. Children worry about losing friends when they go to middle school. Encourage your child to stay connected with fellow classmates from elementary school to ease those feelings of strangeness and vulnerability.

MASTERING THE NEW SCHOOL

Will I find my classroom? Will I be able to open my locker? These are typical worries of new middle schoolers. Attending orientations for parents and students will help both of you to become acquainted with the school, course offerings, and teachers. If your child is worried about getting lost, visit the school in the summer to see where classrooms, gyms, and cafeteria are located. One middle school counsel advises parents to teach your child how to use a combination lock‚ a small skill that will relieve one source of stress during those first confusing weeks.

TEAMS EASE THE TRANSITION

In middle school, students are grouped by teams rather than individual classrooms. A team usually consists of teachers for each core subject assigned to a group of about 125 students. Each team meets daily to plan and coordinate assignments. Team classrooms are usually close together, creating a school within a school. Guidance counselors are assigned to teams and usually stay with the same students for two years. Parent conferences are available during the today, giving parents the opportunity to meet with all team members. Teams publish newsletters, and some teams have designated roles for parent volunteers. Teams may sponsor informal social gatherings where parents can get to know other parents. Parents may need to take the lead in suggesting and organizing such activities.

ENCOUAGE INDEPENDENCE, BUT REMAIN AVAILABLE

The toughest job for the parent of a young adolescent is to know when to get involved and when to step back. Middle schools provide planning guides to help students keep track of homework, tests, and long-term projects. But you need to check in to see if your child is keeping up. Missed assignments or a drop in grades are your cues to step in. Contact your child's teacher or counselor if you have concerns.It is better to address problems early. Children who seem annoyed by parents' interference may secretly be pleased to know you care.

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

Young adolescents also need your emotional support. They worry about what others, especially peers, think of them. That is why clothing, shoes, and hairstyles become important. Middle schoolers can be harsh critics, signaling out those who don't fit in. You need to keep sending the message that you value your child-the unique combination of qualities that are his. Eventually, children learn to balance what the group expects with their own tastes and interests.

PARENT WORRIES

As a parent, you need to let your child know your values and expectations.  Young adolescents need clear rules about sexual behavior, smoking, drugs, and alcohol. Help your child figure out how to resist negative peer pressure before situations arise. Get to know your child's friends and their parents. If you suspect that your child is involved in risky behavior, seek help from a school guidance counselor or other professional.

STAY INVOLVED

Figure out a way you can connect to your child's school. If you cannot chair a committee or attend meetings, volunteer for something you can do. Can you help out one time with a school event, count grocery receipts, visit a class to share a hobby or career? Anything you do shows your child you care about her school. And keep up the support at home. Set limits on the television and telephone. Help your child organize time and workspace so that assignments are completed.  The study habits children develop in middle school will carry over. You and your child will be ready for the next transition: to high school!

---- From the Parenting Education Center, FCPS